


Letters from a Father to a Son

by OwletPNG



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Spoilers, hinting at major death, i realize this is a poor joke on this fic oops, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:14:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24024916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwletPNG/pseuds/OwletPNG
Summary: Sometimes, writing makes it easier for you to read back and understand your mistakes. Unsent letters from Rodrigue to Felix, regrets left unsaid.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius & Rodrigue Achille Fraldarius
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Letters from a Father to a Son

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by https://twitter.com/foxkunkun/status/1254094700673294336 ! I take no credit for the idea, please do give them your support!

Dear Felix,

I suppose you would be surprised if you ever find this, though I doubt you will, given that it is kept in my desk. It has been two months since we last spoke, and I know that your grief and anger has overwhelmed you in these times. Adrian has recommended that I write to you, in letters, while I give you the space you need to mourn and reflect.

It is hard, as you know. His death was unexpected, and I’m sure you would understand as you grow older. But you do not need to hear it again. It is hard, a common problem among the Fraldariuses, that we do not speak up about our feelings easily. Even now I struggle to find the right words to write it down. You were far more gifted in that, and I do pray you continue to show it as you grow.

My son, it is hard for me to swallow my own fear should I break apart for you. Every time I close my eyes I see not one but two within the coffin before me, and I struggle every time to speak the truth. As a knight I should be proud, but as a father I am torn. Glenn died with dignity and grace, but his life ended before mine own. And every time I see you, I cannot help but fear that you would follow down the same path.

And that is why I have decided, however harsh it may be for me, that I do not insist you follow the path of a knight. I only wish that you would continue to be the friend that you have always been to Dimitri, especially when he requires it. He is but a young boy, and so are you. Perhaps it would be selfish of me to do so, but I know you to be a strong child, and Dimitri requires a father in his current state. Whatever you shall do, I shall remain proud of you, my son. I can only wish you can find it in your heart to forgive me for what I have said, and return to me.

Your Father

* * *

Dear Felix,

It has been but a year, and I find myself questioning my methods more and more. Dimitri is growing up to be a fine person. You, on the other hand, grow more and more like Glenn every day, and my fear is growing. You do not speak to me much, and I fear that my attempt at giving you space, has brought you further away from me than I expected. You leave for Garreg Mach Monastery tomorrow, but I do not see hope in your eyes, nor happiness.

I often wonder, whenever I would chide you about your behaviour to Dimitri, if I had gone too far. Your eyes would spark in anger and you would storm off, and I am left thinking, about the times when we used to be close. It hurts me so, when I see you leave. I tell myself that it is time you start to rebel, as Glenn had done, and you would walk in his footsteps to become an exemplary knight. It should bring me joy, but it brings dread instead. I wish to see you grow, but my promise to the late King Lambert has me tied. Not that I do not enjoy my time with Dimitri, but I am finding that our time spent apart has been growing longer. Perhaps it is childish of me to say this, but I do very much miss you so. Meal times have been filled with Dimitri’s attempts at conversation, and my own chidings at your manners. This worries me, but I feel the distance between us are too great, and I am unable to find the time to correct you.

Tomorrow, when you leave, I shall be there to send you off. I do not know if you would be happy to leave, or if you would be annoyed at my presence. Dimitri would be leaving with you as well, and I can only hope you would enjoy his company on the way there.

Felix, I do very much wish we could have talked. There are many things to be said, but I feel as though I am unable to advance forward when your back is always turned to me. Perhaps Garreg Mach would do you some good, and you would return anew. My hopes for you continue to grow by the day, and though you may be far from me, I will always be thinking of you.

Your father,

Rodrigue

* * *

Dear Felix,

I wish with all my heart that I had taken the other letter and ripped it apart. My frustration grows day by day, and I see it in you as well. Your skirmishes and your battles, your training, it is unhealthy! But yet when I come forth to give you advice, you turn me away and scowl. I took it out upon you, and you deserved none of the lashing I had given you. None of it I meant in my heart, but I can see it now. A terrible, terrible mistake, and it is only when I have reflected on my words, that I understand what I had done.

With the news of his execution you had even given me that cold look of yours, and I find my hands shaking with anger at myself for making you think that way. All these past years, to avoid myself from losing you, I had done that very thing. I do not mean it, I swear, Felix, when I said that Dimitri is more of a son to me than you. It was a moment of frustration, and I wish with all my heart that I could return to that time and remove what I had spoken. Even now I cannot believe my own words, but most of I see how much it has hurt you.

All those years, that I have left you alone, how I wish I could take it back. Our family creed had always been to look to the future, not the past, but now I find that I am clinging to our older memories, as I realize my folly. I was a coward, a coward, I realize this now. As this war continues and skirmishes occur across our borders, whenever you pick up that sword of yours and march onward, I feel dread. Dread, that my last words to you would be those few words, and that you would die believing that I do not see you as my son. I do. I do! But I do not know how I can fix it. Hatred now fills you when I am around, so much so that you leave when my presence is made known in the room.

I have already lost a son. Please, I beg of you, do not leave my side. For now, I must focus on this war, as too you.

Yours,

Rodrigue

* * *

Felix,

I am writing this in a rush as I prepare to battle with my troops. It has been days since you left for Garreg Mach, and I am unable to contact you in any way, shape or form. Even this letter would not find your side, and I grow fearful of what might have transpired. I can only trust that you are out there with your troops, fighting the battle in another location. Both Sylvain and Ingrid have disappeared too, and I hope they are by your side.

Losing Dimitri had been a blow. Please, don’t let me lose you too.

Yours,

Rodrigue

* * *

Dear Felix,

When I saw you alive I was overjoyed. Not to mention that Dimitri remains walking, and your Professor has managed to guide you all to victory for battle after battle. They have my thanks, and I am able to refocus once again. You have brought him back safely, and I thank you for it. But that is not the point of it, is that?

I see it, that you are walking down the path of Glenn. I see your doom in your future and I am terrified beyond anything else. This war can easily snatch you away from me, as it had for Glenn. I have been spending every minute of my waking hours attempting to rally the troops, and attempting to bring Dimitri back from whatever state he has been in, that I am once again neglecting you. I could come up with an excuse, that I am protecting the kingdom, that I am guiding Dimitri, that I am building for the future of Faerghus. But I cannot, not when none of these reasons would stand up to be the cause of my own negligence once more.

The monastery is so bright, much like my days when Lambert and I used to study here. Your comrades are capable strong adults, as you are as well. Perhaps this is why I am hesitating to visit you and to talk. My cowardice is stopping me from reaching out to you, but you too do not wish for my company. I know this.

Your Professor knows you. Far better than I do, and I am ashamed to admit it. I have entrusted the future of Faerghus, and of Dimitri, in their hands, for they are much more capable than I am, it seems. A huge weight has been lifted, and when the morning comes I will think of a time when we would once again be able to sit comfortably in each other’s presence, like how we used to do, when you were a child.

Yours,

Rodrigue.

* * *

Dear Felix,

Tomorrow begins our march towards Gronder Field.

I cannot sleep. Something fills me with dread, and I must quickly pen down my thoughts. No, they are not worries about the war, far from it. I realize, as much as I fear for your death, I fear for my own regrets not being said. And so as the night grows into day I shall quickly pen down my thoughts, that they would be unfounded, and that when the war is over I am able to act on them quickly.

I have lived my life, as the Shield of Faerghus. I have lived my life devoting much of it to being an advisor. I cannot say that I regret that which I had done. But what I regret, was the excuse I had given myself, when I was unable to be the father that you deserve. I had given you space, under the pretence that you needed it, but it was I that had chosen to do so, not you. We were hurting, are hurting, from a death that had clung to us for far too long. I wish I had reached out then, wish that we could have understood each other. Perhaps it might have been a possibility. Perhaps it still is. I have missed you so, and I am so very sorry for what I had done to you. I do not think you would forgive me, however much I wish for you to do so. I wish my mistakes had not brought you away from me, such that you would suffer, because of my own ideals. Because of my own promises. Because of my own excuses. I wish you would allow me to make amends, for me to reach out again, to be your father, once more.

But despite all of that, I have seen you grow in more ways than one. Every step you had taken you had taken not just for you, but for your friends, for those you care about, and for the Kingdom. I see that now. Your harsh words to Dimitri had always been what you believe in, and you fought so very hard for it. And yet, and yet despite all the circumstances against you, you have grown and fought back harder, and I cannot help but feel pride swell when I see you fight. The path you have carved, it is your own, is it not? I see nothing but fog, but I also see you cutting through it with ease and resolution in your every step, and by your side would be those you choose to keep close.

I love you. I do not say that enough. I love you, with all my heart, and no matter what you choose to do now, I will be proud of you. No, I am proud of you, to be your father and to watch you grow into the fine young leader you are right now. I see it around you, the way others flock to you and smile, and I see you smile right back at them. I admit it, that we do not see eye to eye on many things, but you have always been my son, first and foremost. My son, I do not know if you can ever forgive me. I love you, and I will always love you, no matter what you think of me.

Tomorrow, we walk on Gronder. Tomorrow, I feel as though something is brewing ahead. As I write this down I feel unsatisfied. I do not know. Is this how Lambert felt before he went to Duscur? Should something happen to me, I do not know if I will be able to see you last. There are many things left unsaid, and I will carry my regrets with me all the way. I hope we are both able to see the sun rise on the next day, and the next, until this war is over.

Love,

Your father, Rodrigue.

**Author's Note:**

> For a non recruitable unit, Rodrigue was a good character, but a poor father. He developed really well amongst the few scenes given, but you know. Felix was barely mentioned. Despite all he had done however it is hard to imagine that he did not care much for Felix, and I like to think that he actually does care, but finds it hard to do so given their relationship. Given that it is in letters I do hope that it is not OOC! Thank you for reading it! Find me @owlthepen on twitter!


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